I'm Not The Only One
by GellyRoll
Summary: He thought they were forever but something broke them apart; will he be available to save what they once had? Snowbarry & Snowstorm.


They made a vow; for better or for worse, till death do them apart. He would never have thought there was difference between spending your life with the person you love and being married, but sadly for him there was. Once you are married the whole mechanics of the relationship changes.

You are tied to one another, you have made a commitment, and you can't simply walk out when things get hard. You're in it for the long haul and that commitment makes all the difference. He thought he had all of those things with Caitlin, but he was wrong.

Since the start she had his heart. He was looking for a summer fling but the moment he laid eyes on her, it was sealed he was hers. For him she was a drop of water the a desert, the breath he didn't know he needed; but now a few years later he was hanging onto the illusion of her, the allure of a mirage in the expanding desert of prevarication.

He never imagine to end like this, they've being in love since high school (love at first sight he'll tell you), surviving the test of collage, he serves her with love and the utmost affection. He would sacrifice his life if it meant her protection; he has love her for many years, but may be it wasn't enough… may be he wasn't enough.

 _And now his deepest fear was true._

For months on end he had his doubts. He tried to deny what was in front of him; she wasn't smiling as much (as least not with him), they didn't talk before turning of the lights at night, every time he tried to kiss her goodnight she would turn, kissing the void of her presence instead of her warm skin.

 _He lost her and it was his fault._

Work, he loves his work, she would often tell him, how every time he had in a new project he was unreachable, he tend to lock himself in this little world making it impossible for her to reach him and no matter what she did or how hard she tried, she was never available to stop him, she wasn't available to reach him. His pride, his ego, his needs caused a good strong woman like her to walk away, his selfish ways end them.

He wasn't there when she needed him. When he was absent, gone from the moments that matter the most, **_he_** was there, making her feel cherished, worthy… loved. He walk from them a thousand times and now that he wanted to return, she look at him different, her eyes once shinning with love and adoration, where now dull with indifference and sorrow, she was gone.

Now she was the one unavailable, sadly he knew why; she was with **_him_**. He was the one making her laugh, kissing her, **_he_** was the one filling her with love, showing her how important she was to him, **_he_** was the one who stole his wife heart. Her never imagine the day when her heart would be unobtainable for him. Even though he knows she kept his.

He couldn't understand why he didn't know before what he knew now, she was his everything and he was blind, he didn't fill her with love when he had the time and now their time were over. She made his dreams come true, he opened her heart to love, and he never realized he was preparing her heart for **_him_**.

For a while it worked for him, denying **_his_** sense on her, the way she smiled when he messages her, but he couldn't take it anymore. He would often ask her why she was coming home so late, "The new project has **_our_** hands full and Dr. Wells wants us to spend some extra time making sure everything's perfect."

The irony was not lost to him, now she was the one using her work as excuse, changing him for the little world she created away from him… away from them. He wish it didn't hurt as much as it did, he crave for the day when he would stop yearning her warmth, he hope he didn't yearn for her, but he still need her by his side. How could the same bed, feel bigger now, how could their song feel so empty? How could her touch be cold and yet warm is soul?

He was no fool, but even thought his heart beaked a little when he saw her face light up at the sound of his name, he knew he couldn't let her go, her heart may have **_his_** name but she was his.

And it haunts him every time he closes his eyes, the sound of her voice calling **_his_** name… **_Barry_** … he should let her go, allow her to be happy with **_him_** and free both of them from a loveless marriage, but he can't; it's the only way he knows he won't be alone, that he isn't the only one that is not holding the person he loves at night, because this Caitlin it's not the one who love him.

This Caitlin is the one that loves _him_ but now he no longer lives in the dark, now he knows **he isn't her only one.**


End file.
